Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
