Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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