they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
