And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
