He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
