The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
