she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
