Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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