Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
