I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
