im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
