She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
