is your mom at the bar?
You're so nebulous sometimes
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
