Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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