office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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