well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
