Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
