mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
