Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
