I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
