I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
