I smell stomach acid.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
