can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
