I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I lost the right to judge tonight
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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