omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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