hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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