I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
