I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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