i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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