Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I checked into jail on foursquare
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
