I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
