I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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