so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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