dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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