I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
