If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
