So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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