i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
