If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
