I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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