so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
