I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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