Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
