suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
