***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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