so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
