we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
