our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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