I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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