was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
