It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
