I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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