What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
