shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
