well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
