Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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