FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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